Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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