There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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