Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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