she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
