just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
