Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
