also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
