She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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