I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
