I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
