Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
