fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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