Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
