I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
