Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
did i just pee glitter
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
