Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize