So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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