giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
