I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
