if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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