Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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