Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
