Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize