Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the day after is always just damage control
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
