We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
