It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
