god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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