I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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