my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dear god my vagina.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
