Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
