When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
