I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
