the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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