did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
