When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
