Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
