gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
