i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Green mimosas i think yes
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize