i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
