i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
