Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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