KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
