I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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