I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
