I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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