i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
