Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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