Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
