I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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