All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
