i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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