Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
