thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
